the breakdown, 31

weekly thoughts and feels.

Making adult friendships is hard. Sustaining them is even harder.

feeling –

This week has felt like letting the smallest bit of air in. When I’m experiencing big feelings, yes, I also talk myself through my own emotions the same way I do my children (and colleagues 🙃), I often feel like there has to be an equally big exchange of positivity to recenter things. I’m a Libra, and perhaps that’s where that need for equitable energies comes from, but this season has felt like a big lesson in taking stock, which we covered last week, but also letting the small morsels of positivity linger a little longer. A kid that wants to cuddle you even though you know they’re only using it to stay up a little longer? Sure. A thirty-minute FaceTime with an old coworker you’re missing entirely too much? Perfect. Point being, let something little be the highlight of your day.

loving –

You all know by now that the value I put on the friendships I have with some pretty incredible women is bar none. It’s funny because growing up, it felt like you had to pick a best, best friend (maybe residual MySpace Top 8 trauma?), but now I’m very much team “there’s room and a purpose for everyone.” Lately, there’s been dialogue on social media about how truly lucky some women are to get to be loved so deeply in platonic relationships. I’m grateful that there are women out there who get excited to do life with me, to take part in my highs, and help me navigate the lows. I could spend hours mulling over the ways they pour into my children’s lives and show up for our family in general, but I digress.

I got to spend a little over a month in the same time zone as my best friend. A month of podcasts that got answered a little sooner. Of feeling like things never really changed. Of pretending we were adjusted to this new normal and that we’re all settled in for however many more years of this we have to go. Our little mama trio did our not-so-goodbye goodbye yesterday over hibachi. We laughed, I sipped my little martini, and we tried not to get all misty-eyed. I was doing pretty well with that until now. All that to say, what a gift it is to not just have this friendship that means the world to me, but others too that help me keep my center.

drinking –

A latte a day keeps the sleepies away, or at least it’s trying to! I mentioned getting an espresso machine, and I’ve been putting it to work. It’s been fun looking at my day every morning and mapping out where I can fit in my latte. My favorite right now is a brown sugar salted vanilla shaken espresso latte with oat milk. Not the shortest name, but definitely one of the tastiest things I’ve ever made. I’ve experimented with blueberry syrup as well, and we're going to have to keep figuring that one out in the lab.

creating –

• Space when I need it. With the grumpies that have been following me around has also come the desire for a little more space. It’s not always easy for me to take space or make it when I need it, but I’m doing my best.

• Good habits. I am really trying to find a rhythm of working out that I can stick to. During the summer, the kids were mostly home and I was also working, so any sliver of a good habit I had (and there wasn’t much to work with) went straight out the window. I started the Ladder workout app last week and have found it to be challenging—but not so overwhelming that I skip it. Can’t put my full stamp on it yet, but give me a few more weeks.

• Of course, I’m working on branding for my hypothetical coffee shop because what else would you expect me to do?

listening –

During said workouts above, I’ve been listening to this playlist that I made for the Mother’s Day baseball tournaments. It’s been *chef’s kiss*.

learning –

It’s okay to not have enough to give anyone else. Things will work themselves out.

next weeks hopes –

No major hopes this week. Take it easy. You got this!