the breakdown, 30

weekly thoughts and feels.

recount the good.

the grumpiest goose –

If there were an award for the grumpiest goose in the pond this past week, I wouldn’t have won it. Well, because being in a pond sounds like something a goose would love, and frankly, my goose was too busy being cooked.

In an effort to maintain the upswing I’m trying to start this next week on, I’m not going to trouble you all with the woes but instead encourage you to do just what I’m about to do if you find yourself in a similar place. This is not new, wise, or sage advice. It’s not even advice I find I can easily take myself, despite sitting here telling you to do it, so take that up with whomever you feel necessary, but here it is: count yourself blessed. Let’s start with a big one I had to put into perspective for myself lately.

I think I mentioned a bit about us getting the kids screened for learning differences a few months ago. Well, the results for one of the kids came in, and they found there was nothing to diagnose him with. Yay, right? Well… yes, but we also weren’t off the hook.

Instead of a diagnosis, we got a pretty thorough understanding of how his brain works and a hefty set of recommended actions to take. This should have felt like an instant relief, but to be honest, it didn’t. None of the recommendations felt insurmountable on their own, but together, and with the school year starting and wanting to have him in the best position possible to succeed, it felt like it would have been easier to navigate a diagnosis.

I know that may sound a little unhinged, but in talking to friends who have had their kids evaluated, they all shared similar sentiments: if a psychiatrist spends that much time with your kid, then you’re definitely leaving with a diagnosis. And when you do, then you can find the right programs—whether that be through your public school or a private one that can step in and fill the gap. We’ve made the school aware of what the doctor found, and we’ve shared the recommendations, and we’ll see how far into the gap they can navigate with us. But I wasn’t prepared to feel like there was still so much I’d have to leap.

But to count myself blessed: I now have a kid who knows his parents understand how he learns best and are excited to support him in having a fun school year where learning doesn’t feel as scary as it did toward the end of last year. I’m also extremely blessed that the Coach and I could even afford to do an evaluation like this and that we’re in a position to do better now that we know better for our guy. It’s going to be a great school year.

With this weighing on my heart and mind—as well as ✨life✨ really digging in its heels, I haven’t been the most fun to be around. Nearly on the verge of tears out of gratitude, stress, anger, joy… it’s been a roller coaster. One day this week, I was grouchy as all get out, trying to do some retail therapy, only to come back to my car to find a note that it had been hit. I feel like that’s a lose-your-grip moment for a lot of us. But on my way home, I rolled the windows down, let the music blast, and counted my blessings.

Here are a few more, in no particular order:

• This summer break from school, we were blessed to watch our kids play in so many baseball tournaments. We faced some knocks along the way, but we’re all learning to see the silver linings.

• We got special treatment at the South Carolina Aquarium and got to go on a behind-the-scenes tour and watch the divers do a feeding from above the tank! Then a diver talked to us for about thirty minutes about his 20+ years of experience.

• I put up a new gallery wall in our home and spent countless hours finding the perfect touches to make our basement feel like the perfect (but better) extension of our home. It’s finally complete, and we love having the extra space to use in a whole new way.

• The Coach’s little brother moved in, and we’ve all been loving having him around.

• The Coach and I celebrated 11 years of marriage!!

• We got to spend a lot of time with so many friends doing all kinds of things.

• I got to see Beyoncé twice!! Once with a bestie and again with my god-sisters.

• My best friend is in from Spain, and it’s been a glorious few weeks of summer with the trio pretending like she doesn’t leave in just a few more days.

• I found a new skincare routine that I’ve actually stuck to, and I’m loving the results I’ve been seeing!

• I got a brand-new espresso machine!!

next weeks hopes -

I hope to be back in the mental space to share fun things like my skincare routine and not be such a Debbie Downer. Also, poor Debbies. They didn’t ask for that.